About Me

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I'm a 29 year old self identifying hippie and amateur photographer. I've been married since Summer 2006, and we started trying to get pregnant the summer of 2007, I have 2 cats and a dog, and I work as a secretary in a prison. This blog is about my battle with infertility and life, love, faith and happiness in the face of infertility. All pictures in the collage and those that I post in my entries were taken by me, unless otherwise stated (or if they are of me of course). Come visit my photography page to see more of my work here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hannah-Love-Chandlers-Photography/282550090053

Friday, February 15, 2013


People always tell us to trust in God. He will provide, He promises that good things are in store for you. You may sometimes ask how. How do I trust God through my infertility journey or other trials? This is one of those questions that doesn’t have a helpful, explanatory answer. It’s like asking how to know when its true love. When you know, you know. With trust, you just trust. Trusting doesn’t mean you don’t have questions or that you are never worried. It means that through your questions and your worries, you know that God is working for you, through you, and in spite of you, for His ‘plans to give you hope and a future’ (Jeremiah 29:11).

Think of it this way. If you’ve ever been on a plane you had to trust that pilot with your life. You probably didn’t even think twice about it. Those that have had fears of flying may have thought more than twice about it, but in the end chose to put your trust in the pilot that he or she would get you from point A to point B with all your limbs still attached.

So you’re on the plan, more than 30,000 feet in the sky. What happens when there is turbulence? Do you storm the cockpit and tell the pilot he’s doing it wrong? Do you try to push him out of his seat and take over? That’s what we’re doing when we don’t trust God when we have problems. When we try to take the controls back from God there’s no burly air marshal to tackle you from behind (for your and everyone else’s safety) because we have free will in this life. That means free will to crash and burn, as surely as we would crash and burn if I took the controls to the next flight out of Nashville. If you don’t let God have the controls to your life you will crash and burn. You cannot get yourself to heaven without God’s help, and you cannot get yourself to motherhood without God’s help. Nothing happens in this world without God being part of it.

So can you trust God to fly your life plane, even during the infertility turbulence? Or will you push God out of the pilot seat to navigate your problems yourself? Can you trust God as much as you trust an imperfect human pilot?

Thursday, February 7, 2013

More Lessons from the Birds

More Lessons from the Birds

A few months ago I wrote about Polly, a bird with only 1 leg who hangs out by my window at work. Scroll back a few posts if you missed it, I promise it’s worth it.

Today we meet Polly’s friends Donald and Daisy. (No they aren’t ducks, and they don’t wear clothes). All week I’ve been watching this pair of birds plan their family. And they are encountering obstacles! No they aren’t going to their fertility vet or going to the pet store to adopt a parakeet. They are building their nest and having a heck of a time at it. They have chosen to build their nest on top of this metal structure outside that bars the windows (can’t have us rascally employees escaping now can we?). There is plenty of room for our feathered friends to perch up there, but there is not much room for a nest. So twig by tiny twig they build their nest, only to have the wind – or the weight of the new twig, knock free some of the previous ones. I keep cheering on Donald and Daisy because no matter how many twigs fall or what other setbacks they encounter they just keep flying down, grasping another twig, and adding it to the nursery they are building for their future babies.
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What lessons am I learning from Donald and Daisy? Persevere through problems, follow your heart, follow God’s guidance, you name it! These feathered parents-to-be aren’t asking God why it is so hard to build their nest. They are simply doing what their instincts tell them to do, and that is build the nest and keep building until it is done. It might be hard, it might take them a long time, and it might seem futile at times, but they keep on keeping on. That certainly defines how an infertile couple’s journey sometimes goes.

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It’s also teaching me a lesson about doing things the hard way. Maybe these guys would have an easier time at if they picked a more stable place, like high up in a tree nestled in between the branches. Maybe sometimes God doesn’t let us have the baby right away that we long so hard for because we aren’t in a stable relationship, or don’t have a stable income or health insurance. That doesn’t meant that we aren’t meant to have a baby ever, or that having a baby should only happen when everything is perfect in your life, it just might mean that we God is waiting a little while for things to get a little more stable. These birds can still have their nest building succeed, it just takes longer to make it stable enough to lay eggs in.
see more scenic photos

Where else can we find meaning in the world around us?