About Me

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I'm a 29 year old self identifying hippie and amateur photographer. I've been married since Summer 2006, and we started trying to get pregnant the summer of 2007, I have 2 cats and a dog, and I work as a secretary in a prison. This blog is about my battle with infertility and life, love, faith and happiness in the face of infertility. All pictures in the collage and those that I post in my entries were taken by me, unless otherwise stated (or if they are of me of course). Come visit my photography page to see more of my work here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hannah-Love-Chandlers-Photography/282550090053

Wednesday, June 6, 2012


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Some people battle infertility and get to make their victory lap holding a baby they gave birth to. Some do their victory dance holding the baby they adopted, or the hand of their foster child. But what if you never become a mommy? Infertility prevailed; you never got your baby. Do you get a victory dance? Or did you lose? God wants good things for us. He plans for us to have hope: Jeremiah 29:11 I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord. They are plans for peace and not disaster, plans to give you a future filled with hope.
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Maybe you get to make your victory lap with peace in your heart, hopefully holding the hand of your loving husband. Because real peace, in your current circumstances, without getting everything you prayed for is a reward. After all, what are we really asking for when we ask for a baby? We want a baby to cuddle and love and raise. The end result? We want to be happy. We want to stop yearning each day for something that seems to come so easy to everybody else. One way to make that happen is by having a baby. But even having a baby is no guarantee, because what if you want to have a second child and now have to battle secondary infertility? People suffering from secondary infertility say it is just as horrible as when they are trying for their first. The only surefire way to accomplish the cessation of the heart wrenching yearning is by God giving us peace. Jesus says He will give us peace.  Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to youJohn 14:27
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We know that God has our best interests at heart. He cares about our happiness. He tells us not to be discouraged. “The LORD Himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8. We know that He knows what He is doing: “He is the Rock, His work is perfect, for all His ways are justice, a God of truth and without injustice, Righteous and upright is He.” Deuteronomy 32:4. So how to we face each day knowing we may never be a mommy? “This I call to mind, therefore I have hope. The LORD’s loving-kindness indeed never ceases, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:21-22
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God doesn’t intend for you to be miserable your whole life. He promises that He hears you when you pray: “In those days when you pray, I will listen” Jeremiah 29:12. But does that mean He is going to give you every desire of your heart? Loving God wouldn’t be free will if everybody that loved Him always had good things happen to them. Generally we don’t go to work because we love our employer; we go to work because they pay us. God doesn’t pay us for our love by answering our every prayer exactly to our liking. But He does promise us peace. He promises that He loves us. He promises that we will have eternal life with Him in heaven. And all you have to do is love Him. Accept that He is your Savior and repent your sins, and diligently seek Him. We know that God rewards those who seek him “He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6 Maybe your reward will be lasting peace.

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