Birthdays and Phones

So I have finally joined the 21^st century. One of my phones on my family plan was ready to be upgraded so I used some of my birthday money and bought a Smartphone. I got the HTC Inspire Android phone for At&t. It does so much cool stuff that I have never been able to do before and I really love it. I have never had a cell phone before that wasn’t free or free after rebate with the upgrade or contract. Therefore I am severely lacking in skills with using a Smartphone. I am learning and trying to figure it all out. Today I had to get on the At&t website and do instant messaging with a rep to ask some questions and get some stuff figured out, and last night I had to use the online tutorial to be able to figure out how to set the alarm.

I turned 26 this week. Upside: we got to go out and have dinner and I got a new phone plus I still have some money to spend on whatever I want. Downside: I think I thought by this time I would have babies. I would be posting on Facebook about the awesome things my kids were doing instead of the awesome phone I bought. I had one person tell me this week that I should be happy with my dog and not worry about kids because I was young, and another person who I just started working with ask me if I had kids and when I said no she said you don’t need kids and told me to get a dog. I don’t agree that I am so young that I don’t even need to be trying to have kids, but I am still young and at this point my age is probably not a factor of my infertility. Another person present during the first ‘you should enjoy your dog’ comment said that she was a better mom when she was 30 than she was when she had her first and nobody very young should be worrying about having kids. I told her that a woman’s fertility starts going drastically down after she is 30 and it’s really not good advice to tell people to wait until they are 30 to start trying. My other point is that my husband is 35 already, and we have been trying for over 4 years. We don’t want to be having kids when he is 40. Tons of people have kids at that age and older, and that is fine for everybody, but for us it is 2 things. First is the age thing, we just hope to have kids before he is 40, and the other is the time spent trying. We have been trying for 4 years, and we don’t want to keep trying forever. We need to move on at some point and get past the stress of having it all up in the air.

I’m not mad at the people this week (or at any point in the past 4 years) who have offered this unsolicited advice. I’m not mad at them because they were well meaning. They didn’t offer this ‘advice’ maliciously, they were trying to be helpful and because of that I can’t hold a grudge. People that have kids, and have been able to have them easily, without trying and even on accident don’t understand what it’s like for those of us who have put years into the effort and failed at every junction. These people have no idea that what they are saying might hurt because they can’t even comprehend wanting a baby the way we do. So I understand that it is different for people who haven’t been in our situation, and I don’t blame them for trying to help us. But good intentions don’t really change the sting of the comment.

Happy note to end today’s blog: I love my new phone and all the free apps I have already added to it!