Rejoice Always - HOW?

^{1 Thessalonians 5:16-18}

¹⁶ Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray without ceasing, ¹⁸ in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

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What a way to live your life! But how do you do that? Rejoice means to celebrate, express joy, delight, be glad, and cheer. Always means at all times, constantly, continuously, or all the time. So how do you celebrate constantly? How do you delight all the time? Sometimes (if not most of the time) life just doesn’t seem to be that good at first glance.

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How many times have you seen on TV where they go around the Thanksgiving dinner table and everybody is asked to say what they are thankful for? It seems like a difficult task. Maybe your family has this tradition too. Is it easy to think of something to be thankful for? Find a pen and paper. Quick, list 5 things you are thankful for… Did it take you awhile? Did you feel like you were reaching? Now quick, list 5 things you could complain about… was that a little easier?

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Think harder about the good stuff. Do you have a job? Do you have a home? Do you get enough to eat each day? Are there flowers outside? Do you have someone who loves you? Do you have health insurance? Did Jesus die for your sins? Even when it seems like there is nothing to celebrate there is always something. In fact usually there are always several things!

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Rejoice Always. So how do you delight in these good things? How do you look at the fact that the grass is green and you have a home, and cheer about it; without comparing it to the heartbreak of health problems, a fight with your husband, or your child misbehaving? Pray without ceasing. Rely on Jesus, “our refuge, our strength, and a very present help in time of trouble” (Psalm 46:1). Can the sun still shine even when it is raining? Yes, that’s what makes rainbows! He can help you see the rainbows through the storm. So even though you have problems, the bad stuff doesn’t cancel out the good stuff.

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This isn’t to say that you never have complaints. It is unrealistic to expect us flawed human beings to live our lives always skipping don the road without a care. Instead take your cares to Jesus, and try to always remember to think of something good after you complain about something.

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing. Challenge yourself to try to live this way for a few weeks and see how you like it!

Photo a Day April - How You Feel Today

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Photo a Day April

Day 14

How You Feel Today

I saw this unique flower at Walmart today, and since I was keeping my eyes open for something to define how I felt, I had to jump on it. I feel wonderful!! I feel beautiful, flowery, colorful and weird. Lately this is how I feel every day, and I thank God that He has blessed me with such good spirits! Even when things were rocky at work this week I kept my mood up. Normally I wouldn’t have been able to weather the storm without crying, but with God’s help I handled it wonderfully. I also found out that I was not pregnant this week, but I’ve been asking for prayers that I could handle the letdown if I wasn’t pregnant, and it didn’t even bring me down. This has been a terrific week.

Somebody asked me a question a couple of weeks ago that really opened my eyes. He quoted Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Then he asked me if I was diligently seeking Him. I could not answer that question honestly and be satisfied with my answer. That one question turned my life around in an instant. I realized that I was not diligently seeking God. I wasn’t even reading my bible regularly. How can you know somebody if you don’t try? How can somebody comfort you if you don’t let them talk to you? God has given us the bible so that we can know Him, so that we can read His words. I can’t believe I have had this comfort tool sitting around my house (even staring at me from my phone) and I have been ignoring it.

I realized I have been separating my infertility from my faith, because I don’t know how to reconcile a loving God with the unending pain of infertility. I still don’t know how to do that, but I realize that compartmentalizing like that was not healthy for my relationship with God. Instead of dealing with my infertility outside of my faith I should be always looking for encouragement in the scriptures. Jesus says: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” –Matthew 5:4. The bible is full of comforting passages like this one. It is also filled with uplifting, inspirational verses: Matthew 21:21 ‘So Jesus answered and said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done. And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive"’ Sometimes it feels like the bible was written just for me! 

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April Photo a Day - 5 Tiny

Day 5 - Tiny

So yesterday I drove three hours to go to my mom's so I can see my niece this weekend, which meant I was too tired to do yesterday's photo. I'm glad I waited because while I was taking a walk with my mom and my 3 year old niece I found these tiny little flowers on a tree. I tried to get my niece to hold a tiny flower in her tiny hand, but she didn't want to sit still long enough for me to get a good one. So in the picture I'm holding the flower in my fingers. You can see how small the flower is compared to my nails. I love taking pictures of flowers. Even the tiny ones are beautiful, and it shows how much care God put into every tiny detail of our world. How is it that we can feel like God doesn't even care or notice us with all this proof looking us in the face.

Faith Issues

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Let me begin this post by saying that this is not my best written blog, and I don't think it flows just right, but I am trying to be brutally honest about my relationship with God and it is ridiculously hard because I don't know if I entirely understand it myself. 

I am a Christian. I believe in God, and I know that God is good, wants good for us, and I try to live my life the way He wants me to. But I have a faith problem. I have such a hard time reconciling my faith with my infertility. It’s like a paradox. I believe in God, that He is good and that He wants the best for us, but then I want a baby so bad and I have suffered so much heart ache due to infertility. I have never been able to find lasting peace because I can’t even get a good, sure answer that I cannot have a baby, so that little hope keeps flaring up and bringing the pain back to the surface, and I can never fully get over it.

When I was on my way to the hospital to see my niece’s birth I had another crisis of faith. I was driving along and her contractions advanced so quickly that while I was praying so hard that she would wait until I got there they called to tell me that she was going to the hospital. At that point I started going back and forth between praying that I would make it and fighting with God, certain that I was going to miss it. I was so angry with God, asking him how it is that I can want something so bad, and pray for it so hard, like being able to see my niece be born, and then still miss it. I have an easier time accepting my infertility, because there have been a few times when getting pregnant would not have been best, like when we found the tumor on my spine in my neck and I needed all sorts of tests (x-rays and MRI’s and others) to see whether or not is was cancerous.

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Therefore, sometimes I can accept that God knows best (though intellectually I know He does, emotionally sometimes I don’t understand). Sometimes I think that He knows some good reason why now is not a good time, and why it might never be right for us, but I could not come up with one possible explanation of why I should not be at the birth of my niece, when I wanted it so much. Again, intellectually I know that God wants the best for me and that if God decided I shouldn’t be there than there apparently is a good reason I should miss it, but emotionally I have a harder time with that. It’s like I’m a child. A child knows mommy loves her, but doesn’t always understand when mommy says that she can’t go play at her friend’s house right now.

So I’m fluctuating back and forth between continuing to pray to make it in time, and arguing with God because I was sure I was going to be too late. When I was about 20 minutes away I called and my mom told me that they thought that she was still going to be a long time. The hospital thought that her contractions were being brought on by dehydration, and were having her drink water. Of course at this point I changed my tune again. I was contrite; I started praying about how I knew I was wrong to have doubts like I was having. I felt like I had a good heart to heart with God on that trip over, and it made me start thinking about these issues.

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When I was in high school I was so close to God. I read my bible all the time, I loved reading it! I prayed constantly, I felt God’s presence in my life on a regular basis, and felt loved by Him. I was comforted by praying when I was fighting with my dad, and I broke up with my boyfriend because I realized (eventually) that God didn’t want me to be with him.

After high school it was like a switch was thrown. I stopped being able to feel God. I read once I think in the bible about a man who God withdrew from in a way that He could not be felt, and that it was a test of that man’s faith to continue to have faith even when one could not feel God. It was much easier to have faith in God when I could feel Him there all the time. It is a whole different story now that I don’t feel like He is there.

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