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Photo a Day April
How You Feel Today
I saw this unique flower at Walmart today, and since I was keeping my eyes open for something to define how I felt, I had to jump on it. I feel wonderful!! I feel beautiful, flowery, colorful and weird. Lately this is how I feel every day, and I thank God that He has blessed me with such good spirits! Even when things were rocky at work this week I kept my mood up. Normally I wouldn’t have been able to weather the storm without crying, but with God’s help I handled it wonderfully. I also found out that I was not pregnant this week, but I’ve been asking for prayers that I could handle the letdown if I wasn’t pregnant, and it didn’t even bring me down. This has been a terrific week.
Somebody asked me a question a couple of weeks ago that really opened my eyes. He quoted Hebrews 11:6 “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.” Then he asked me if I was diligently seeking Him. I could not answer that question honestly and be satisfied with my answer. That one question turned my life around in an instant. I realized that I was not diligently seeking God. I wasn’t even reading my bible regularly. How can you know somebody if you don’t try? How can somebody comfort you if you don’t let them talk to you? God has given us the bible so that we can know Him, so that we can read His words. I can’t believe I have had this comfort tool sitting around my house (even staring at me from my phone) and I have been ignoring it.
I realized I have been separating my infertility from my faith, because I don’t know how to reconcile a loving God with the unending pain of infertility. I still don’t know how to do that, but I realize that compartmentalizing like that was not healthy for my relationship with God. Instead of dealing with my infertility outside of my faith I should be always looking for encouragement in the scriptures. Jesus says: “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” –Matthew 5:4. The bible is full of comforting passages like this one. It is also filled with uplifting, inspirational verses: Matthew 21:21 ‘So Jesus answered and said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done. And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive"’ Sometimes it feels like the bible was written just for me!
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