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I'm a 29 year old self identifying hippie and amateur photographer. I've been married since Summer 2006, and we started trying to get pregnant the summer of 2007, I have 2 cats and a dog, and I work as a secretary in a prison. This blog is about my battle with infertility and life, love, faith and happiness in the face of infertility. All pictures in the collage and those that I post in my entries were taken by me, unless otherwise stated (or if they are of me of course). Come visit my photography page to see more of my work here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Hannah-Love-Chandlers-Photography/282550090053

Friday, May 18, 2012

Marriage and Divorce


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Infertility is hard on a marriage. Some marriages do not survive the battle with infertility. Every person goes into life with a different idea of how their life must turn out in order to be happy. Unfortunately, some people can’t accept that what they envisioned and what will be aren’t going to match up, and they put their dreams for a child above their spouse’s feelings. What do you do when you get married and you and your husband both want to work for a few years and then start a family, but then it doesn’t go as planned? Some people are willing to go to any length to achieve their dream. Some people sell their car or get second mortgages in order to pay for treatment. Some change their entire eating habits, and their lifestyle.

This is okay when both parties are in full agreement. But what if you want to take out a loan to pay for treatment but your husband doesn’t want to? It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want a baby, it might just mean that he doesn’t want to risk a bunch of money on something with low success rates. Personally I would be terrified to drop $20,000 on In Vitro Fertilization (not that I ever would have that much), because I know so many stories of treatment that failed, 1, 2, 3 or more times.

So if your life plan includes a baby, and you will go to any length to achieve that dream, but your husband won’t, what do you do? Do you get divorced? Is the chance of having a baby more important to you than your husband who you agreed to love and cherish til death do you part? Your vows probably didn’t include the phrase: ‘Til death do us part- unless I want a baby and he won’t sacrifice everything to make it happen’. They said for better or worse, for richer or poorer, til death do us part. I know divorce is a common thing these days, and I know that when people get married they don’t plan on it being shattered by divorce, but divorce shouldn’t be an option except in extreme cases, like infidelity or abuse.

Last week I wrote about giving up. The kind of giving up I was referring to is giving up the struggle and trusting God. You have to do this with your relationship too. You must give this struggle to God and pray for His guidance in your marriage. You alone cannot fix your relationship, no more than you can will your infertility away.

So say you want a baby and don’t think you can be happy without one. If your husband doesn’t agree to take the same steps as you want, it doesn’t mean you give up or go find someone who will. There is a chance that you may never have a baby. You have to be able to be happy with your life before a baby enters it, in case the worst happens and you never become a mom. You have to look at your husband and decide that you can love him for the rest of your life even if you don’t see a dad when you look at him. Love is not conditional. Love should not be given and taken according to life circumstances. Love is a choice. You choose to love your spouse for the rest of your life because that is what you promised to do.

This doesn’t mean that divorce never happens. You can’t make decisions for both of you and nobody is telling you to put up with being verbally or physically abused. 
What does Jesus say?


Matthew 19:6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

8 comments:

  1. Infertility, the inability to have children affects one in every seven couples of fertile age. The infertility rate is rising as a result of increased strain, competitive work environment, environmental toxins, hectic and quick paced imbalanced lifestyle, urbanization, delayed marriage and prolonged family planning.

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    Replies
    1. The video presentation above shows you some unique and rare tips on how to treat almost any type of infertility disorder and get pregnant naturally in just 60 short days even if you're on your late 30's or 40's.

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      For more info please click on the following link: how to treat infertility

      Talk soon.












      .

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  2. A family completes with parents and their children .Children is the gift of love, every couple dreams for the child .Unfortunately, one of out the couple suffer from infertility, it’s an inability to reproduce an infant. It’s the problem that naturally happens, no one is the culprit it, then why we blames our spouse. Taking divorce and get down to second marriage is not the solution to overcome from this problem. Today medical science has developed a lot of artificial treatments for this. You can go for any one of these treatment but these treatments are very costly. Another option for this situation is to adopt an orphan child so that child can refill your wounds in your relationship. And also need some cooperation and mutual understanding too.
    Separazione E Divorzio

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  3. Nice post !!I Marriage is a Boon of god.It is really heart-burst news when you know your spouse is suffering from infertility.
    ___________
    Vashikaran mantra

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  4. eka, herbal is a must take by any woman trying to get pregnant. I was devastated and so was my husband after being told by my fertility specialist at age 38 that I had no option but to consider adoption or donor eggs (according to my doctor I was out of eggs and gave me 4% chance of getting pregnant and a 2% chance of carrying a baby to full term). After much research and dozens of hours reading infertility related articles and posts online, I have found your email (dreka14demons@gmail.com)! I never believed in anything alternative to western medicine and thought all the other stuff like Chinese medicine was a hoax. But I was soon glad to be wrong as I followed your the guidelines given to me as soon as you cast on me pregnancy spell and send to me your natural herbals. After one month of trying I became pregnant and had a beautiful healthy boy. Nine months after that I did everything you told me again and after 2 months of trying I got pregnant again and gave birth to another perfect little boy. I would recommend anyone with an open mind to contact eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com). It just might be the answer to your prayers. Thank you for everything you have done for me, EKA!"

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  5. eka, herbal is a must take by any woman trying to get pregnant. I was devastated and so was my husband after being told by my fertility specialist at age 38 that I had no option but to consider adoption or donor eggs (according to my doctor I was out of eggs and gave me 4% chance of getting pregnant and a 2% chance of carrying a baby to full term). After much research and dozens of hours reading infertility related articles and posts online, I have found your email (dreka14demons@gmail.com)! I never believed in anything alternative to western medicine and thought all the other stuff like Chinese medicine was a hoax. But I was soon glad to be wrong as I followed your the guidelines given to me as soon as you cast on me pregnancy spell and send to me your natural herbals. After one month of trying I became pregnant and had a beautiful healthy boy. Nine months after that I did everything you told me again and after 2 months of trying I got pregnant again and gave birth to another perfect little boy. I would recommend anyone with an open mind to contact eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com). It just might be the answer to your prayers. Thank you for everything you have done for me, EKA!"

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  6. Don’t think of anything else just contact priest eka and purchase some of his herbal medication and your depression will go away. This was my state of mind when my doctor told me that i will not be able to concieve due to the Fibroid that was rolling in my family life and when i decide to reach out to the priest, and the priest told me what to do in other to get the medication. Eventually I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother: Eka is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact Eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease::
    1. Fibroid, Asthma, All STD,
    2. High Blood Pressure (herbs to reduce your BP within 7days)
    3. Infection, regular body pains (yeast infection)
    4. Blockage from the fallopian Tube
    5. Cyst from the ovaries
    6. Unpleasant smell from the virginal, virginal itching
    7. Irregular menstruation
    8. Weakness of the penis (not able to have sex with your partner or inability to satisfy your partner sexually)
    9. Watering sperm (low sperm count) not able to get woman pregnant.
    10. Infertility for easy Conception.......
    11. Skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor…….Etc..
    Simply contact the spiritualist Dr Eka on (dreka14demons@gmail.com) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..

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  7. I want to use this opportunity to thank this great holy man called priest raja for what he has done for me and my family. This great man has brought happiness and joy back again to me and my family. Priest Raja has used his great and powerful to help me bring back my husband within the period of 48 hours and also helped me in getting pregnant with his powerful prayers and after 7 days of applying his herbs.This is more than words can say, at first i didn't believe it but today it is so true and all thanks goes to him. i will advice every one out there that has a similar issue, and also any one who is willing to get his or her lover back and any one who wants to get pregnant quick to contact this wonderful man today and forever remain happy in life. Once again you can contact priest raja via his email address priestraja@mail.com . he is truly a miracle to the world

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