A couple of months ago I started writing a
blog about when it is time to give up. How do you know when the time is right
to stop ttc (trying to conceive)? Recently I have been reading Sarah’s
Laughter Daily Devotionals which are always related to infertility/child loss.
Lately the theme that has been jumping out at me from these awesome devotionals
seems to relate back to the blog I never finished about giving up. Originally
in that old blog I was talking about how some people never realize their dreams
of becoming parents, and at some point in their life they need to acknowledge
that hard fact and stop trying and start focusing on something else. But, the
theme jumping out of these devotionals at me is not really about that kind of
giving up.
Giving up is not the phrase we should use.
When we talk about giving up ttc we shouldn’t use the term give up. Give
up implies failing or quitting. And ‘quitters never win’ right? But what I
really mean when I talk about giving up isn’t meant to be negative. What God is
revealing to me as I read these emails is that I need to give up struggling. We
all need to give up struggling. Jesus said in one of the gospels that no one,
by worrying, can add one iota to their life. Some synonyms for worry are: be
anxious, fret, be concerned, be troubled, agonize, lose sleep, fear… Does that
sound like what you are doing when you are begging God for a baby? It’s a little
like what I have been doing. We need to give up worrying. Give up agonizing. By
losing sleep and fretting we cannot bend God’s will to ours. We cannot bring
about the things we want most.
If God were talking to you and told you that
He knows how your life will turn out, and He knows that you will have a full
and happy life, what would that mean to you? Would you think that God was
telling you that you will have the desires of your heart, you will become a
parent (or get that job you want or find your perfect mate), and that is how
you will be happy? He could be. Or He could be telling me that I will learn to
be happy without being a parent. In John 10:10 Jesus said “I came that they may
have life, and have it abundantly.” Jesus said that we will have life
abundantly. He didn’t say we would have every desire of our heart. He didn’t
say that every person would find their perfect mate and have beautiful babies
and therefore would live happily ever after. By knowing God and having a
relationship with Him we are given the chance to live life abundantly, but we
must first realize that our lives are wonderful even when we don’t get every
desire of our heart. We must give up struggling to make life the way we want
it, and start trusting God that He will help you to have a rich life.
Can you trust in God? Can you accept that you
will have a bountiful life, even if you don’t get what you want? Or will you be
the stubborn child that says that you want a baby and you’re going to hold your
breath until your wishes are granted?
Thank you.
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